YOU ARE STRONG! YOU ARE SEEN! YOU ARE LOVED!
Anxiety and sadness sure are sneaky! They creep in before we even know they are coming and find a way to settle right in. These are two battles I’ve been facing this past year at a different level than the pre pandemic days. Mental health. The silent and invisible battle that rages on the inside. It’s exhausting. It’s isolating. It’s a heavy weight to carry. It’s scary. It’s confusing. It’s a liar. It can fill our thoughts and mind with lies we believe about ourselves and our situation. It contributes to physical pain. It has many faces.
What you see on the outside may appear that I am doing well and have it together. Walking in faith, trust and joy. The smile is there. The laughter is belting out, the conversation flows, but inside there is a silent, invisible battle raging in my mind and body. Does this mean the smile and laughter are fake? Nope. It means I’m doing my best to push through. To stay focused on truth and be present in what is. Does that mean that I always feel anxious and/or sad? No.
The thoughts and feels ebb and flow like a see saw, up and down. It isn’t until the days where I lose my ability to stay focused on what is truth and feel completely exhausted from pressing on that this silent invisible battle shows itself to others. I need to get better at finding the balance of sharing and letting people in when I’m feeling down or anxious before I get to the emotional breaking point.
When I’m not my usual cheery encouraging self not only does the frown and tears replace the smile and laughter, another battle begins to rear its ugly head. The thoughts of shame. The thoughts of get it together! The feeling that I’m a burden. The embarrassment of the emotional breakdown. The anger that seeps out. The looks that I interpret to ask, “ What’s wrong with you?” Followed by, “I don’t know what to do for you.”
The tape plays in my head from days before, when I was still holding it together (barely), from one of my fellow Christian folk in so many words saying, “If you believe in Jesus and put your trust in him, you won’t have anxiety.” That takes me to an even lower place of adding guilt and questions to the shame I’m already feeling. Do I trust enough? Do I believe enough? Is this happening due to a lack of faith? The answer is no!
Please my fellow Christians if you know of someone who is experiencing these battles I implore you not to imply blame for lack of trust, belief, and faith. Instead pull up a chair. Sit with them. Listen to them. Comfort them. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know they are okay. Hug them. Let them know how much they are loved. Show compassion and empathy over sympathy. Pray for them.
It’s often those who seem to have it so together on the outside who are struggling the most on the inside. We don’t have to “fake it until we make it”. There is no reason to be ashamed or feel guilty. It’s okay to show your true feelings. It doesn’t make us weak, it makes us strong! Your thoughts and feelings may be invisible but you aren’t. You are strong! You are seen! You are loved!
Shine bright,
Teresa
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV