Dear Anxiety, I’ve Got This! God’s Got Me!
Dear Anxiety,
As I sit quietly alone I reflect on your presence in my life. In my thoughts and body. When did you start? Why did you start? How long will you stick around? Did you start gradually in childhood and pick up speed as I’ve grown into adulthood? Was it one incident? Was it all the things that came after? The many many losses I’ve experienced? Is it when I became a mom and my worries increased? Or could it be the crazy perimenopausal hormones that have reared their ugly head? A combination of them all coming to the surface? I can’t pinpoint the exact time you started but does it even matter? The fact is you came and you are still here. Try as I may to force you out, you keep coming back. Why have you staked your claim over my thoughts? Again, do the whys matter? You are here nonetheless. I go to bed with you and I wake up with you some days. Other days you take a reprieve and I can feel what it’s like to be “normal” again. When you are here I feel anything but normal. You consume my thoughts and actions. You cause me emotional and physical pain. My choices in the day have become dependent on you. How did this happen? I know that my thoughts and faith rest in Jesus but still…there you are taking over. This makes you even harder to deal with as a child of God. But you already know the affect you have not only on me but on my family and friendships. It’s hard enough for me to deal with you. They have an even harder time dealing with me when you take over. How many times have I heard, “I don’t know how to help you.” or the frustration saying, “Just stop!”. I can’t blame them. If you don’t know you don’t know. Oh how I wish it were that easy. That I could find a switch to shut you off. That you would leave and never return! Until that switch is found I will continue to search for it. You may be strong but I am stronger! Try as you may you will not defeat me! I AM A CHILD OF GOD! Try as you may to get me to believe your lies, I hold on to God’s truth and promises and continue to march on in spite of you! Although a lot of days you create fear and doubt in my mind and debilitate me. I carry on! I will continue to carry on. With or without you! God’s truth is stronger than your hold. So nice try. You can stay if you want but you won’t stop me! We will just have to learn to press through together until you finally concede. Until then I guess it’s you and me. Buckle up it’s quite a ride we’re on but trust me I will keep riding!!!! I will cling to every glimmer of hope, peace and joy found over every bump along the way!
I’ve got this! God’s got me! His presence is greater than yours!!!
Shining bright,
Teresa
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)